Saturday, 15 June 2013

15th of June, 2013

Here comes to another entry of me using handphone. I'm lazy to type on computer. Or maybe I simply don't have a mood. Usually I have mood swing throughout the day, sounds pathetic right? I can't even maintain a smile for more than an hour. ( of course la, if you can then all your muscles on your face sure full with lactic acid. ) lol wth

I don't plagiarise so I decided to write my title as 15th of June, 2013 instead of 15062013 LOL although it's just the same but to me it means something. Well, it just another ordinary Saturday after my birthday lol. Leshan is watching Mayday's concert later which is what I wanna do too. Hopefully she remembers that I asked her to record down my favourite songs of Mayday. It's kinda awkward because last time we said we wanna go together and now she is going alone as I cannot make it.Then I don't know why I got so many weird thoughts and feelings that going through my mind and kill all those brain cells by torturing the emotional nervous system. Then I think I'm creating a new system. Whatever.

Recently I'm acting so eerie and bizarre. Maybe Gemini really got a second version of personality at the dark side. Since when I believe in horoscope? Haha just a lie to make sure I feel better than what feelings that available for me to feel right now. They said being with emo is okay because it's needed to balance out the happy time. Maybe my pass is too happy? Or my happy moment hasn't come yet so I need to keep on being sad. LOL wah, then my after life definitely is an awesome one.

We always look at those bad things in our life, true. Because that bring the most effects to our life? NO, because we never realise how much happiness we already got. That day I won the hair oil from Nuffnang, hahaha so happy because my dried and frizzy hair need to be saved or I will be bald soon like what is slowly happening on my dad and uncles. OMG this is scary. Then Leshan said I'm super duper good in luck and I should be happy. But I don't think so. Not because I'm confident enough but I never enough with what I already owned. So my good luck isn't fully working though or else I will be serious lucky right now. How I hope I can split into two so I can ongoing the things I love and do the things I need to do.

Oh ya, actually I felt so sad yesterday, omg the photo I drawn yesterday which is the cake with 18 candles and a crowded background is very sarcastic to me and somehow someone still said it is nice?! Hahaha but I'm okay with it already because I'm happy enough for all the things I got. But actually I don't have any present, I meant those type of present that can be seen by bare eyes. I'm kinda pleased with what I got but human are greedy. We always expect more than what we got because hope is what keep us living or else we will just stay there and wait to die as feeling enough with our life.

Everyone has their own perspective on the definition of life. We eat, sleep, work, pee and poo for a reason. And everyone's reasons are different. They can be similar but won't be the same. We hope for different thing in our life, some hope for a good job and some look for money. ( just an example, no offence or second thought please. ) and there are pretty much different groups of others. That's why we cannot compare ourself with others. Although maybe you will say that without comparison then we will just be the same. But you don't compare with those in a different dimension.

Katy Perry sings, " comparisons are easily done once you had a taste of perfection. " so if you never satisfied with what you got yet, don't compare.

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By the way, I'm not enough with the rant, I promised not to write short entries anymore so keep your head up and concentrate on me.

Hahaha

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Once, I promised not to lie anymore. I used to believe that it's true if the lie works but turns out even it works, it's just another lie. Why lies? Because we need to do it in certain circumstances, but not all the time. But I said I'm not lying anymore as I realised the reality doesn't allow this kind of thing happen. Although I still think that it's okay if you can do it. Why?

I thought that being a truthful guy is much more better than those fakers. But then the world is changed. They rather believe in lies and think that your words are lie even they are truth that hard as diamond. It just doesn't work all the time yet in the end, it's all depending on the one who is listening to you. Just a word can confirm everything. If only you lie to say that word.

' Trust '

I doubt on it. Yet I believe it. There aren't that many choices for you, what I can say is that don't ever lie on those who trust on you because they will never lie on you in either way. Maybe you do think that they are just people that are not in your list of trustworthy or importance but you never know how life will be in the next second. Unpredictable to the max unless you wanna say you're a fortune teller. Zzz

可是我还是相信人定胜天。

Never regret for what you said, never second thought on yourself. It's done once it's spitted out.

The only choice is to think properly, some words can't be erased even with a thousands times of apologise.  Same goes to those words from the heart, they are true like steel and make sure you're confirm as steel. No matter how bad my adjectives are, I just wanna emphasise that never lie and never go wrong with what you gonna say. How will be the result? Is it depending on the other side? Or you expect everyone is just like you?

You never know.

But my reply will be, " whatever. "

Because I'm lying to my heart, as I don't wanna get hurt. But the main point is that I never succeed in lying to myself because I freaking know that I'm lying. For once in a life time, how I hope that my words are being listened and believed then replied. Ohya, please reply something legit. Hahaha just like ice cream, something inside can be felt once the outer layer melted. And a bumping heart melts everything and feels everything.

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I used a phrase recently. ' Like a fish in the market. ' I created it so I guessed you can't get what I meant with that weird phrase. Lol what I actually wanna said is a feeling that make you feel that you're someone in a second bit being abandon again in the next moment. Like the fish market, a big one cannot call the highest price but the best one. It's all on you, either you think that it worth the price, or just get a cheaper one yet thinking of the best one. Wth am I saying?

Definitely the most meaningless rant throughout this entry. LOL

Here comes to the end of my thoughts and feelings. It can be useful yet waste of time. So do you get those tiny points of views in it?

I'm cold. And eagerly want a hug from you.

Bye.

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